“obviously, we have a lot of problems we need to address”, i say, referring to one specific problem, which i created, alone
“meet or greet” i’m crying
He couldn’t even keep a straight face
He’s so cute like this is such a pure joke
If you are having a bad day, please unmute.
(Huskie puppy doesn’t quite get the howling thing. Sounds like a baby babbling.)
“Banana!”
* day is fixed*
ok. i super needed this.
THIS. The whole world should watch this.
That’s it. The internet is over. Everyone go home.
This is the rare nicki minaj boss ass money bitch reblog if you want to make promising moves and be a boss ass bitch
Can’t afford to scroll passed this
business cat
you sit in a chair like a grown up human being
cleaning your hands
or wait they’re paws
that’s what you call cat hands
Concept for a porno:
Woman reclining seductively on a bed. The door swings open. The Grim Reaper walks in.
Woman gives the Reaper a husky look. “So,” she drawls. “Death has finally come for me.”
“Not yet,” replies the Reaper, and strips off its robe
Reblog and you’ll find money soon!
Yes.
Also weird I reblobbed the other money one last night and a freelance check I invoiced for a month ago came in.
reblobbed
seriously have nothing to lose
Did it once might as well let it stack. At least I’m not buying loto tickets
You guys, I reblogged this 2 days ago out of desperation. Today I was looking through my old wallet for coins to go to the vending machine because that’s all I can fucking afford. I haven’t touched this thing since July/ August. When I found a disappointing 15 cents in the coin pocket I went to the billfold to see if any coins were in there. That’s when I saw them. 5 crisp bills amounting to $22. I literally screamed and danced around my room out of joy before remembering that I’d reblogged this post.
Tl;dr - This post is fucking magical and actually worked for me.
I’m broke as fuck. Money gods pls send me like 100k.
I never reblog these, let’s give it a shot.
BIG MONEY, BIG MONEY
I reblogged this last week and withing an hour I got a client after a month of silence! Literally gave me money to eat for the rest of the month.
Crazy enough but my mom randomly gave me 200 dollars after I reblogged one of these the other day…
Amen
Reblobbed.
I have a theory that these posts actually gather energy from the wishes of people who reblog them and that’s why they work. Plus, yanno, they get passed around by witches…a lot. :)
Financials are getting a little rocky here (new job was a pay cut and was supposed to be an hours increase but ended up being more of a cut/lateral move) and I’m still trying to figure out how to downgrade my spending (seriously how can I cancel some of my cable services and end up paying MORE than before fucking packages fucking Verizon…) so in the meantime I could really go for a cash infusion until I get myself sorted.
Ok this is such a ridiculous coincidence but I JUST reblogged this this morning and between then and now my tax refund hit my account 3 days early.
Draw your own conclusions.
Look, I need cash. I’m not proud.
I want a reimagining of Hamlet that is completely faithful to the original except that Hamlet is replaced with Craig Middlebrooks from Parks and Rec.
this is my friend Horatio and HE DROVE ME HERE.
Is… is this not basically what Hamlet is like?
QUEEN GERTRUDE
Alas, he’s mad!
HAMLET
OSRIC
You are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is–
HAMLET
GHOST
Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.
HAMLET
Murder!
GHOST
Murder most foul, as in the best it is;
But this most foul, strange and unnatural.
HAMLET
Haste me to know’t, that I, with wings as swift
As meditation or the thoughts of love,
May sweep to my revenge.
Ghost
I find thee apt;
And duller shouldst thou be than the fat weed
That roots itself in ease on Lethe wharf,
Wouldst thou not stir in this. Now, Hamlet, hear:
‘Tis given out that, sleeping in my orchard,
A serpent stung me; so the whole ear of Denmark
Is by a forged process of my death
Rankly abused: but know, thou noble youth,
The serpent that did sting thy father’s life
Now wears his crown.
HAMLET
FIRST PLAYER
….But if the gods themselves did see her then
When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport
In mincing with his sword her husband’s limbs,
The instant burst of clamour that she made,
Unless things mortal move them not at all,
Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven,
And passion in the gods.’
POLONIUS
Look, whether he has not turned his colour and has
tears in’s eyes. Pray you, no more.
HAMLET
GUILDENSTERN
Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame
and start not so wildly from my affair.
HAMLET
HAMLET
I loved Ophelia: forty thousand brothers
Could not, with all their quantity of love,
Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her?
KING CLAUDIUS
O, he is mad, Laertes.
QUEEN GERTRUDE
For love of God, forbear him.
HAMLET
HAMLET
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.–Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember’d.
OPHELIA
Good my lord,
How does your honour for this many a day?
HAMLET
HAMLET
O God, your only jig-maker. What should a man do
but be merry? for, look you, how cheerfully my
mother looks, and my father died within these two hours.
OPHELIA
Nay, ‘tis twice two months, my lord.
HAMLET
So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for
I’ll have a suit of sables. O heavens! die two
months ago, and not forgotten yet? Then there’s
hope a great man’s memory may outlive his life half
a year: but, by'r lady, he must build churches,
then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with
the hobby-horse, whose epitaph is ‘For, O, for, O,
the hobby-horse is forgot.’
FIRST CLOWN
A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! a’ poured a
flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same skull,
sir, was Yorick’s skull, the king’s jester.
HAMLET
This?
FIRST CLOWN
E'en that.
HAMLET
[Takes the skull]
HAMLET
Come, come, and sit you down; you shall not budge;
You go not till I set you up a glass
Where you may see the inmost part of you.
QUEEN GERTRUDE
What wilt thou do? thou wilt not murder me?
Help, help, ho!
LORD POLONIUS
[Behind] What, ho! help, help, help!
HAMLET
[To Polonious]
HORATIO
Here’s yet some liquor left.
HAMLET
As thou'rt a man,
Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I’ll have’t.
O good Horatio, what a wounded name–
Ever wonder what the highest kudo’d work on ao3 is?
wonder no more.Seriously whatever you are expecting, this isn’t it.
Jesus H. Fucking Christ
Amazing
